Grazing
Once, a very long time ago in Bruges, an elderly gentleman with hunched shoulders, told me that in a previous life I had been a monk in a north German monastery transcribing and illustrating the bible. He told me this after consulting a chart and matching it to my exact time, date and place of birth. He was, quite clearly, barking mad. And, in any case, I think he got it all wrong. I am convinced that in a previous life I was not a monk. I was, in fact, a sheep.
I say this because I like to graze. A biscuit with my tea here; another one half an hour later, a nibble here and there won’t harm….From what I can gather I am not alone in my grazing habits – so, I have come up with a new theory, perhaps we are in fact descended from sheep and not the apes as Darwin asserts.
This grazing (along with four pregnancies), however, is a disaster for the waist line. Ever since R.’s birth I have been unable to shift the 8 kg weight gain. Previous diets have worked but they have typically been on the back of negative influences (splitting up with a boyfriend/high-blood pressure during pregnancy etc.). A negative presence in my life is not what I seek though. I seek weight loss.
In desperation I have turned to a guru the like of whom I would, under any other circumstance, shun. I mean, guys who do big audiences for money are charlatans. Right? Yeah well, when you’re desperate its amazing what and who you’ll turn to. I Googled Paul McKenna and what with one thing or another I ended up buying his book “I can make you thin” and cd on-line. Its so easy these days… and it wasn’t that expensive… and thousands of women swear by his method… and Rebecca did say he made a lot of sense and… hey I can’t stop grazing.
A few days later his book arrived. It was one of those Mondays when the kids were off school and slouching bored around the house. There was not much to do other than watch TV: it was a rainy day in January and you can’t exactly throw them in the garden on a day like that. So, whilst R. was sleeping and the others were stuck in front of the box I settled down with a cup of tea and began to read.
I instantly liked what he said: he is offering a technique not a diet; he asks us to stop obsessing about food, which is what you do when you diet (oh that is so true); to eat when you are hungry; to eat what you want not what you think you should eat; to eat slowly and savour every single mouthful; to stop when your tummy tells you are full; and not to weigh yourself for two weeks. Its so obvious ...but too good to be true? Eat when you’re hungry and eat what you want not what you think you should eat? I decided to give it a go. I had nothing to lose…other than weight.
For two weeks I followed his technique. I stuck to the rule of not weighing myself and in those two weeks I broke every rule of every diet I have ever been on. It was great fun. I ate pizza…but stopped when my stomach told me to stop. I had three helpings of cereal in the morning…and stopped when I was knew I was full….I ate bread with cheese and mayonnaise. Sometimes four slices of bread…before my tummy told me I was full. Am I living in a fool’s paradise I wondered? Can this simple, liberating technique really be working? Surely not – mayonnaise on a slice of bread. How many calories are in that? I ate four slices before I felt full.
This Monday I weighed myself. Even G. was getting nervous about the result. On Sunday he said: hey, tomorrow you weigh yourself. Result…ta ti ta ta. Fool’s paradise or divine truth? I lost 2 kg. Hell ladies and gentlemen it works. We should be rejoicing. Singing from the roof tops, ringing the church bells, organising street parties, congregating on Trafalgar Square.
This simple technique has shown that you do not have to go through hardship to achieve something. In fact it has been such an eye opener that I wonder if other conundrums can be resolved using such simple logic. Imagine if the equivalent could be achieved in, lets say Iraq, or on climate change, or on world poverty.
Some thoughts for Paul McKenna to consider. Well, since Monday I am revising my theory on the origin of species as well as reconsidering whether I was a sheep in a previous life. Since following this technique I no longer graze. Given it up. The Paul McKenna diet has managed to take the obsession out of food. I no longer just seek to have a “healthy balanced diet” I am now seeking to have a “healthy attitude to food”.
I say this because I like to graze. A biscuit with my tea here; another one half an hour later, a nibble here and there won’t harm….From what I can gather I am not alone in my grazing habits – so, I have come up with a new theory, perhaps we are in fact descended from sheep and not the apes as Darwin asserts.
This grazing (along with four pregnancies), however, is a disaster for the waist line. Ever since R.’s birth I have been unable to shift the 8 kg weight gain. Previous diets have worked but they have typically been on the back of negative influences (splitting up with a boyfriend/high-blood pressure during pregnancy etc.). A negative presence in my life is not what I seek though. I seek weight loss.
In desperation I have turned to a guru the like of whom I would, under any other circumstance, shun. I mean, guys who do big audiences for money are charlatans. Right? Yeah well, when you’re desperate its amazing what and who you’ll turn to. I Googled Paul McKenna and what with one thing or another I ended up buying his book “I can make you thin” and cd on-line. Its so easy these days… and it wasn’t that expensive… and thousands of women swear by his method… and Rebecca did say he made a lot of sense and… hey I can’t stop grazing.
A few days later his book arrived. It was one of those Mondays when the kids were off school and slouching bored around the house. There was not much to do other than watch TV: it was a rainy day in January and you can’t exactly throw them in the garden on a day like that. So, whilst R. was sleeping and the others were stuck in front of the box I settled down with a cup of tea and began to read.
I instantly liked what he said: he is offering a technique not a diet; he asks us to stop obsessing about food, which is what you do when you diet (oh that is so true); to eat when you are hungry; to eat what you want not what you think you should eat; to eat slowly and savour every single mouthful; to stop when your tummy tells you are full; and not to weigh yourself for two weeks. Its so obvious ...but too good to be true? Eat when you’re hungry and eat what you want not what you think you should eat? I decided to give it a go. I had nothing to lose…other than weight.
For two weeks I followed his technique. I stuck to the rule of not weighing myself and in those two weeks I broke every rule of every diet I have ever been on. It was great fun. I ate pizza…but stopped when my stomach told me to stop. I had three helpings of cereal in the morning…and stopped when I was knew I was full….I ate bread with cheese and mayonnaise. Sometimes four slices of bread…before my tummy told me I was full. Am I living in a fool’s paradise I wondered? Can this simple, liberating technique really be working? Surely not – mayonnaise on a slice of bread. How many calories are in that? I ate four slices before I felt full.
This Monday I weighed myself. Even G. was getting nervous about the result. On Sunday he said: hey, tomorrow you weigh yourself. Result…ta ti ta ta. Fool’s paradise or divine truth? I lost 2 kg. Hell ladies and gentlemen it works. We should be rejoicing. Singing from the roof tops, ringing the church bells, organising street parties, congregating on Trafalgar Square.
This simple technique has shown that you do not have to go through hardship to achieve something. In fact it has been such an eye opener that I wonder if other conundrums can be resolved using such simple logic. Imagine if the equivalent could be achieved in, lets say Iraq, or on climate change, or on world poverty.
Some thoughts for Paul McKenna to consider. Well, since Monday I am revising my theory on the origin of species as well as reconsidering whether I was a sheep in a previous life. Since following this technique I no longer graze. Given it up. The Paul McKenna diet has managed to take the obsession out of food. I no longer just seek to have a “healthy balanced diet” I am now seeking to have a “healthy attitude to food”.
posted by Kathleen at 6:00 AM
3 Comments:
:-) Unless McKenna has hypnotised the scales , too , this does indeed seem to work . Not that you're not gorgeous already ! I adore your style of writing . Do Love G
hip hip _ hurrah! well done Kathleen, wel done Paul mcKenna _ I'm going to start doing this one again too. What with that and giving up booze for lent, by easter I'll be Liv Tyler ;)
PS Isn't that funny about the old man though... you never told me that story before!
It was a long time ago (1993 or so): I was in a bar with Christina and we had just come back from a play and were probably looking all arty farty - or something like that. It was a pretty empty bar and he was sitting next to us with a loden coat on. He approached us and said something about "was I a thespian"!, which amused me. I think the effect of the play may have rubbed off on us. Christina, probalby rightly, thought he was a bit of a nutter and avoided talking to him but when he told me he could tell me what I was in a previous life I thought: ok then tell me - and that's when he came out with this tale about me being a monk. Hmmmm..
Post a Comment
<< Home